“They let me top the first sex scene I did just to ease me into it. “I thought about it a bit, experimented at home and was like, well that ain’t too bad, I can do that and come back with a pocketful of money, that’d be great. But soon enough, the chance to make even more money became too enticing. Pretty much just like jerking off at home is what it turned out to be.”Ĭurtis was emphatic that he would not do a sex scene. when you have three or four people with cameras, it’s pretty nerve-racking. I’d never been naked in front of anybody other than me and a girlfriend. “It was just, come back here, here’s the studio, get naked. “They made it real comfortable,” he says. There’s a huge precedent of people who are queer but lie about it for the sake of their own social capital.THE offer came through Curtis’ MySpace account: masturbate on camera for a gay porn film, and earn some quick and easy cash.Ĭurtis was straight, but as a struggling new graduate in fast-paced San Diego, it was a tempting idea. Hell, write a book! But don’t circumvent the label thing as a way of being dishonest. If that isn’t sufficient to describe you, take a paragraph. I like to say: If a label doesn’t work, use a sentence. Labels like “gay” and “bi” are necessarily shorthand-they cannot convey the entire complexity of someone’s sexuality, and in fact are probably mostly useful to orient others. Having gay sex does not make someone gay. Firstly, there is no one-drop rule for sexuality.
I do have some thoughts about labeling issues he brings up. Stoya: Not to mention all of their actual partners … And we’re talking about fragile masculinity here, which is sort of a minefield.
Sometimes sex does make things weird later, even if a session goes well. I think our writer’s bigger concern is the social upheaval that could result from hooking up with a group of his friends. And it would be sort of no-brainer: “Of course you can do that thing to me that feels good.” Just a totally practical approach. And so, the account in Justin Spring’s Steward biography The Secret Historian went something like: He’d approach guys and suck them off and they’d love it. He was having gay sex in like the 20s, before World War II, McCarthyism, etc.-before anyone had a sense of it at all. His books were unlike those of his contemporaries in that their sex-positive depictions of gay sex did not come couched with some sort of moralistic consequences-they were depictions of pure pleasure. He wrote pulp erotica in the ’60s under the pseudonym Phil Andros. I think about Samuel Steward in instances like this. I think there will always be people whose preference for one side is so firm that they are effectively one or the other, but I think for many-as minds open, and taboos loosen-they’re going to find themselves in the gray area of the middle. Rich: It seems like the days are numbered. I am wanting to know if it is “socially” OK to have casual sex with your straight friends wondering if you would have to consider yourself gay if you did. I don’t know how I feel about getting sexy with a group of men or just one of them. I’m not sure if I’m reading too much into this, but it feels close to happening-between us. Sometimes this gets kind of awkward, and they talk about relieving themselves. By the end of their time at my home, there is usually some reference to banging. When she is gone, my straight guy friends (some married) come over and chill. I am a straight man and I have a girlfriend who travels a lot. It’s anonymous!Įvery Thursday night, the crew responds to a bonus question in chat form. Have a question? Send it to Stoya and Rich here.
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How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. When My Wife and I Decided to “Awaken” Our Sex Life, This Isn’t Exactly What We Had in Mind I Saw What My Husband’s Been Watching Online. I’ve Always Preferred Tall Men for Sex for a Simple Reason. I Just Want Her to Change One Part of Her Body.